Story #2032

Our company had 3 DS per platoon. The worst of ours was a female, DS P. I believe it was about week six on a Sunday. My platoon was sitting in the front of the barracks (we had the shitty trailers instead of an actual barracks) cleaning our weapons while DS P talked to us. All was going smooth until some bastard ripped one and vibrated the floor. It literally smelt like burning shit. DS P stops in mid sentence and says “who shitted themselves?” (Yes she said shitted) No one said a word. “Front leaning rest position move” she then stands up and walks around the room sniffing trying to find the source of the horrible stench. She walks over to my battle buddy pvt K who was next me. She kneels down and looks at him. She quietly says “I bet it was you. You nasty bastard” and then yells “pvt K did you shit?!?” Pvt K says “no DS!” she then turns to me and says “pvt your battle done shitted himself” at this point I couldn’t contain myself any longer and fell to the ground laughing “position of attention move” she then instructs myself and Pvt K to suck the fart out of the air and blow it outside. While we were attempting to do this she dropped everyone else and made them sound off with “shit suckers” down… “Shit” up…”suckers”. To this day I can still taste that sick fuckers fart..

Echo company summer of 2012

Submitted October 4, 2015