Story #2072

NO SHIT, THERE I WAS….a young Pvt E-nothing on Sand Hill, we had gotten to our qual day on the range and DS L started our initial briefing with “Who has a joke to start today’s training with?” Like any inexperienced slick sleeve that doesn’t know not to volunteer for a damn thing , I raised my hand. DS asked me to stand up in the bleachers and to tell my joke, “Why do Marines say OOH-RAH? Because you can’t say HOOAH with a dick in your mouth” my platoon laughed, I laughed, DS L laughed. I then noticed that DS L was laughing more than anyone else, and I soon learned an important lesson about situational awareness. There was a Black Hat from the jump school on our range that day to observe, a USMC black hat. DS L (still laughing) looks past me, and say’s “He’s all yours Sergeant Airborne” I turned and saw Gunny stripes and said a quick and silent prayer to God to save me. I then learned a new definition of misery as I was smoked by the scariest Marine I had ever come across (Still the scariest Marine I’ve ever encountered, and I worked with Marines in Afghanistan) there were all of the usual delights, The push-up, front back go’s, flutter kicks, side straddle hop, and so on, but there were new things I’d never heard of, The Hello Dolly, The Monkey Fucker, and something he called Pissing With a Hard On. Now I know to look around before I open my trap. Fort Benning, 2008