Story #2274

I remember is as if it was yesterday…

Well into the war on terror, I finally decided to do my part, since the new C.O.D. wasn’t going to be released for three months and I had already beaten all the video games I own while on my parent’s basement T I stopped by the recruiting center after my tofu burger and seriously considered joining. The Army and Marines in the center just scared me, although they really liked my gauging and facial piercings (They must have, they couldn’t stop staring at them and shaking their heads…)and though the Navy all had gleam in their eyes when they looked at each other, being stuck in the ocean for months isn’t something I wanted (Hello, Jaws anyone???). Then I seen them… Air Force… They earn a row of ribbons, badges, and medals with every stripe on their uniform, and some of them looked younger than my 27 years of age… They said I could do my part fighting terrorists and not even leave my hometown for more than a few months a year…

So I signed up.

They sent me to this place called “Meps” (Probably some distant General from the civil war where we fought and won our independence from the south of France). Although I passed my physical, they said my piercings had to go for safety reasons during training.

Well, since it’s for the safety of my country…

When I finally arrived in Texas, there were these guys called instructors, and boy let me tell you, they mean BUSINESS… Why, they would take a break from drinking their coffee and tea at least every five or ten minutes to yell at us… And the pain!!! They had us do something called the “Turn and Bend” ten whole times!!! And the “Side Straddle Hop” – we must have repeated that exercise five or six times… I almost fell down I was so tired… The recruiters didn’t tell me about this. Where do these instructors come from??? Having us in the “Elongation stretch” for an eternity of 20 minutes. They must be those meat eaters I keep hearing about.

Well, to make a long story short, we’ve now reached our second week of training. Thank goodness we got our cell phones back on the second day (And the barracks have free wifi!!!) I’ll have a new Xbox one hooked up by our third week of basic, just in time for the new Call of Duty (Except now, I’m really living it!!!)

Doing my part to keep America safe… Airman Basic Smith…