Story #2317

It was a bitterly cold day out as my entire company was lined up nut to butt in line for some lunch chow. This had to be around week 2 at most as we were still learning how to go from parade rest to walk a step go back to parade rest in line. The line was snaked around and everybody was pretty scared to look anywhere but at the back of the head of the man in front of you. And then it happened, one of the privates that was pretty slow made a left face to turn in line and bumped into a Drill….. Now this drill looked straight out of a 70’s marlboro ad slender tall big rim glasses and country as ever. DS Marlboro as I will call him was probably the most vocal of all the Drill Sergeants in the company. Now the moment the Pvt touches him he screams in bloody murder that he was just assaulted and the Pvt in question assaulted a non commissioned officer. DS Marlboro begins yelling that the Pvt will be arrested and the MP’s will be here for him by time lunch is over. Then a lightbulb goes off in DS Marlboro’s head as he screams “NO FUCK THAT MY BATTLE IS A MP” DS Marlboro takes off on a sprint as we all just sit there to ponder what happened. Mind you DS Marlboro had a bit of a goofy run so on top of all that just happened we now see him running away as fast as he can. Seconds later DS Marlboro and his battle DS Silverback (I use that name because the man was the size of a silverback) come running around the other corner behind us screaming all sorts of things I can not quite remember. They Rush through the line until they get to the PVT that started this all. By this time you could see the Pvt start to break down. Words became jumbled which only amplified the Marlboro man and Silverback. Soon 2 other Drills get into the frenzy and this Pvt was broken. The smoke session he got was one of legend, I know because those of us in line clearly had something to do with his plan and joined him after lunch. I will never forget watching DS Marlboro running away with that goofy country run and the stuff he said and made us sing. 2003 Ft Benning