Story #2322

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As I arrived to my battalion, I was introduced to my squad leader a tall, fully tattoed and ripped dude who made fun of the new guys like us. He was a great leader but also somehow a dumbass. Anyway, in one year we had a ton of conversations and he accepted me as a soldier and now, we always talk and shake hands when we meet-I had to left the company but I’m still in that battalion. There are two stories I’d like to tell about him, what made me laugh or dig myself.

Polar:

We traveled to a training field with URALs. We carried our backpacks on another one, so I couldn’d get my warm clothes on, and I spent the whole travel without any warm clothes. At the end of the road, the SL noticed that I’m wearing only the normal uniform and asked:

SL:-Wassup D? You became a new guy again? Forgot the warm clothes ha?

Me:-Staff Seargeant only faggots use warm clothes.

SL:-What the fuck??????

Then I noticed he’s wearing a polar cap and a Gore tex coat. I realized that I screwed up. He started to laugh and told the whole company about this. I felt like a chicken among the Velociraptors…………

The missed shot:

During field training, we had an attack-defense course with MILES. I carried a machine gun and found a great position for myself. The attack started and I noticed a guy who was climbing on a tree. I started to shoot him but nothing happeed. I said: “What the fuck? This pile of junk is broken?” We lost and after the 50 pushups we got for losing, the SL said:

-Did anyone of you seen anything?

I raised my hand and said:

Me:-I saw an asshole on the tree but I could’t shoot him.

SL:-That asshole was me you dumbass!

I had to do 50 again for calling him a dumbass, but both of us was laughing during the pushups.