Story #2284

So no shit, there I was, week 12ish of 19K OSUT circa 2010. We’re inside the Tank Driving Simulators, I’m walking out to take a piss and notice there’s someone walking out of the one directly across the hall. I look in through the window and see the instructor at the computer running the simulator with a joe inside the simulator training. My keen deductive skills led me to the conclusion that the only person that could be walking out would be my buddy, so being a good battle I give him the one finger salute as he’s walking out… the first thing I notice are the boots, those aren’t issue boots, those are store bought… I look up to see DS M, the meanest SOB to ever crush a PVT’s soul. I quickly drop my hands and completely lose my mind with fear, seemingly unable to perform the basic functions like go to parade rest while my mind races with the varying ways in which he’s about to throat fuck my life. He looks at me with death in his eyes “Pvt, what the fuck are you doing?!” “Going to piss, DS” “Get the fuck moving”. I thought maybe he didn’t see it, maybe my lighting fast reflexes were on point, and I was in the clear!

Fast forward a week, sitting on my bed folding my laundry (yes, I’m aware that’s against the rules) with my back to the bay door. I hear what I swear to god sounds like my buddy in the bay across the hall say “How about you get off your bunk” Being an arrogant smart ass, I respond with a quick, condemning “What?!” while turning around to see none other than DS M. To the front leaning rest I go, while he walks off to crush other souls. Of course I put a battle buddy on the door and get up as soon as he’s gone. 20 mins go by and I get the signal from Battle buddy door watcher that DS M is on his way back, so I jump back down into the front leaning rest. He comes to the door, takes one look and knows I just shammed that punishment, he tells me to report to his office at lights out. I report to his office and proceed to go through two and a half hours of just about every different exercise he could think of, having me change every time he died while he was playing God of War 3 in his office. He proceeds to make sure I’m aware he did in fact see the bird I sent his way in the TDS, and that he has not forgotten about it during the time in which I watched puddles of sweat accumulate and dry up before my eyes as I paid for my lack of situational awareness in both situations.