Story #2289

Me and my best friend were normal privates. We stuck out to our SDS. (he later told us at graduation we reminded him of himself so he took it extra hard on us to save us some trouble later in our careers.)

The single example of him fucking with us happened on our first field exercise. We were doing some training I honestly don’t remember what the hell it was this event kinda fucked that up for me.

We were all sitting around him while he showed us shit when my bud saw this giant red ant… This was the coolest shit we’d ever seen at this boring time. We found a few twigs to poke at it with and watch it bite the shit out of with its monster spikes. In our stupidity we were spotted soon enough, and our drill showed us why he was the craziest person we’d ever met.

DS HEY SHITFUCKS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO MORONS DOING.

ME -uh nothing DS…

DS Bullshit, have you heard a single fucking thing I’ve said?

BB -No… Not really drill sergeant.

DS WHY THE FUCK NOT? WHAT HAD YOU SO FOCUSED YOU CAN’T LISTEN TO SOME SHIT THAT MAY SAVE YOUR FUCKING INSIGNIFICANT LIVES ONE DAY!? Motherfucker it’s always you two dipshits. You two are the the stereotypes if why people think infantry guys are fucking stupid. Tell me right the Fuck now what were you doing? What is it that’s distracted you two simple ass Motherfuckers this time?

ME -A giant ant DS…

DS -Jesus fuc… Why is an ant that interesting have you never seen a fucking ant before?

BB -Not that big DS, This Motherfucker looks like some starship troopers shit

Looking back now that was probably the moment we fucked up.

DS – GODDAMN IT! WHERE IS IT?

We found it and pointed to it he stomped over picked the angry little monster up stuck it in his fucking mouth and crunched it. We didn’t really know what to do at this point. He soul fucked us with his eyes knife handed both of us and said “IF YOU FUCK WITH ME ONE MORE TIME I’M GOING TO SEX YOUR MOTHER’S BUTTHOLE ON FAMILY DAY AND DAY ONE RESTART YOU THE NEXT. This shit is fucking important pay the Fuck attention. You two idiots want to get yourselves killed by all means but I’m not going to have it on my conscience if you get someone else fucked up.

We worked a lot harder to pay attention after that. I wasn’t really afraid of him boning my mom, but the way his veins popped and the look on his face I could tell he would’ve beat our asses to death if we had said another word. And it really put shit into perspective. He Turned out to be a hell of a teacher and mentor. Met him again a few years down the line he had made SGM. He recognized me immediately and first thing he asked was “where’s your little butt buddy?”