Story #2184

British Army, 1998 about five weeks into basic. Recruit G thinks he is hard as fuck. We’ve been beasted (smoked) countless times because of the amount of fights this little prick has started and everyone is getting pissed off.

So, we start the NBC phase of the training and the gas chamber phase comes. Recruit G starts yet another argument over something pointless, trouble is he didn’t realise that the recruit he started shoving was a ds from another platoon who had been drafted in for the day for safety. Sgt P, we were to learn, once narrowly missed out on qualifying for the British Olympic boxing team. Recruit Gs reputation for being an aggressive dick had preceded him and we were ordered to form up outside. Sgt P then called the recruit a “little skip rat cunt” and ordered him to go to the gym and spar with him in front of the whole platoon. He was probably expecting recruit G to back down but recruit G being a complete fuck stick decided to accept the offer. Needless to say, an arse whooping of monumental proportions was handed out in the gym and Sgt P congratulated the recruit on his efforts, which we thought was quite strange. It turns out there was a more sinister plan afoot. About a week later and whilst on morning parade Sgt P asked if anyone wanted to go on a Krav Maga course with the IDF. Being green as fuck it never occurred to any of the volunteers (including Rec G) that would never get offered during basic. The course would take place during the next block of leave and would last 2 weeks.

To our amazement it was recruit G that was chosen by the platoon staff to attend. He was given his joining instructions and wasted no time that night visiting every bunk to gloat. His joining instructions stated he had to report to a RAF station in southern Scotland (about 700miles away) to get his plane to tel aviv.

The day came and once again he was gobbing off about how he was great and he was shit as he waved us off at the train station (we were going home on leave) any way, it turns out there was no course, so this moron rocked up to an RAF base and just got fucking laughed at. He missed his leave and never started another fight again.