Story #2204

Basic training September 2014

*** PLT **CO / *** PLT barracks (I wrote a bunch of OPSEC here like a genius.)

I know alot (FU spell check!) of you grunts will be screaming pig and all that potato level bullshit but I want to tell my story. (Everyone knows about the “pig”. I also feel I needed to break the ice with those fucking 11B’s because they like it when you talk dirty to them.)

I was in “blue or white phase” but we didn’t have any of the so called privileges associated with either phase on account of 1 slack jawed redneck potato who decided to pull out his blue book during our first ruck march. (This has nothing to do with my story, so I will explain further…) Our battalion csm was running by and saw him. He told our battery first sergeant who proceeded to drop us right there in the road assault packs on and smoke up (up is another word for “us”) with push ups and v-ups for a good hour. But I digress. (Digressing is part of good story telling.)

The real story was about 5 or 6 weeks later when another idiot told his plt ds that his wallet had been stolen. Then another idiot said that his wallet had also been stolen.

We proceeded to turn the bay upside down and inside out for a good 3 hours pulling out ceiling panels and turning over wall lockers until our ds gave up and had us take everything outside and set the bay up outside our trailer park barracks. This took about 2 more hours until the idiots who had been “robbed” found their wallets in their camelbaks. The ds had them in the front leaning rest until we had put everything back. (He did ALL this without saying one awesome thing worth mentioning here.)

These potato brains failed to graduate with us. (I like potatoes).