Story #2219

Everyone knows that while in Boot Camp, when you go to the chow hall, you sit down, eat quickly then move out fast. Anyway. It was the first week of boot camp for me in 1994. We were all in line for breakfast. After getting my chow, I sat down and quickly inhaled my scrambled eggs and grits or whatever it was I had. I was nudged by my buddy sitting next to me to look over at the next table. Some private was sitting down and somehow managed to get those small butter packets. He began to spread butter on his toast with a butter knife. It was almost as if he thought he was back home, enjoying his meal at the local diner. Three drill sergeants see this private buttering his toast and quickly gang up on him. I remember watching as one of the drill sergeants was screaming for the private to “open your mouth” as he shoved a clump of the butter into the private’s mouth. He then shoved the entire piece of toast into the private’s mouth and yelled ” you better start chewing private, eat it now, taste it later, now get the fuck out of my mess hall” The poor private never got to finish his breakfast. 21 years later, I tell this story often. Whenever I’m a restaurant, buttering my toast, I still crack a smile and think back and wonder what the hell that private was thinking that morning in boot camp.